Fred, ever in the midst of some or other mess, has the most serious condition of a hypochondria-tic heart disease. He is forever clutching his heart and professing a warning to deceased wife, Olivia, "I'm comin' ta see ya, honey!" These attacks of his always seem to arise with perfect timing for him to avoid dealing with difficult questions or issues in his life. Not unlike the fable about The Boy Who Cried Wolf, everyone has become fully aware of his ruse and takes his antics with a grain of salt. But it never fails for Fred to find in the end that if he'd just been honest from the start everything could have been avoided. Great lesson for the kiddo's, folks!
Lamont (awesome!), his level headed son, is the perfect example of serenity and parental patience. Though most often visibly frustrated, he is courteous and calm with his father. He shows no disrespect. Yet, he never fails to get his point across. That isn't to say that Lamont doesn't occasionally get into some trouble, too.(Ya Big Dummy!) Ultimately, the ballet of bumbles these two work through together is gloriously endearing.
On top of all that, Aunt Esther and Grady, two entirely different temperaments, give lovely insight into a soft spoken, passive male influence and a loud, boisterous female one. Plus, that woman knows how to give the stink eye! I think she may have invented it!
Anyhoo, hilarity ensues at every turn coupled with a sprinkling of melodrama suited perfectly to taste. It is true, it doesn't pack the punch of say, Gilligan's Island, on core material but it is too worthy to miss. Great theme music, too:)
Core Topics: Psychology, Sociology, Economics, Patience, Early warning signs of Heart Attack, History.
Role Modelling: * out of 5 stars for Lamont (love it!) but the others are more... anti-models.
Theme Song: super YAY
4. The Andy Griffith Show
Seriously, if you missed this one as a child, something went wrong at your house. But I'm not really one to judge, ya freak! (just jokes)
Now, goodness, where to begin... just in case we have some freaks out there... Andy Griffith is the sheriff of Mayberry, the prettiest little town you could imagine. He lives with his son, Opie, and his Aunt Bea.
The absolute peachee-keen part of this show is the whistling tutorial at the beginning. Learning the tune is a rite of passage into becoming a true part of American society. Everyone must know how to whistle the theme of The Andy Griffith Show. period. It could happen anywhere, elevator, bus, random public bathroom... someone will begin and it is mandatory for all others present to join them. Just think how tragically humiliating it could be for your child to be caught unawares in such a situation by not knowing how to whistle the tune! collective gasp! Okay, I made all that up but it is still a great lesson in whistling and super fun. Among the many key elements of value in the gazillion available episodes are important tips and instruction on (but not limited to) whistling, aforesaid, fishing, law enforcement, the dangers of alcohol and the biggie, of paramount importance... The Golden Rule!! (psst... "always tell the truth", yo)
The charm of the southern drawl and genteel manners are the perfect wholesome brain snack for children of all ages. Plus, if the real life success of Opie Cunningham (as we call him at our house) is not a clear indicator of a successful upbringing for a child, I dunno what is!
Go on, visit Mayberry! You'll be glad ya did.
Episodes include:
Core Topics: Whistlin', fishin', drankin' (is bad). Law enforcement, Sociology.
Role Modelling: ***** out of 5 stars for everyone except the drunk guy, Otis.
Theme Song: YAY (i dare ya not to get it stuck in your head)
and finally, Numero Cinco, drum roll, please...
5. Hee Haw (wait, hear that? is that angels singing - nope, Jug Band.)
The undisputed, best hour of television for the entire family out there, bar none! This program has it all. It is the king of "low brow know how"! Do not be fooled by imitations. The nuggets of wisdom encased in batter deep fat fried to a crispy golden brown are TOO often overlooked by scholars who feel themselves a cut above the company of a genu-ine Jug Band. But listen, my nay-sayers, doubting poopers of parties... Go there and you will see... The land of Hee Haw encompasses many, many realms of powerful and useful knowledge. Take the sage advice given here, in a poem (most often sung like a symphony of the gods):
"Where, oh, where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over
and thought I'd found true love.
But you met another and
Pfft, you was gone."
The simplicity and beauty in those words ring so true. And yet so many have simply laughed off the lessons available within the Hee Haw hall of glory.
Now, indulge me, and envision the Jug Band. Do you see what I mean?
Yes, of course, you say, I see it! Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! These guys have found a second use for all the items on which they play their heavenly music. How incredibly beautiful is that, right?!
And Minnie Pearl, with her fancy hat, so sweetly ignorant and oblivious to the faux pas of the obvious price tag hanging from it.
But let's look at it on the lighter side, away from all this serious stuff, yonder on the corny side of the field, if you will... the humor and silliness engaged in during this show are a glowing example of life at its best. Are the characters the richest? No. Are they the smartest? No. Are they anything you aspire to be? Nnnn..er wait, right there! I think they just may be. Ignorance is bliss, my lovelies. Don't forget it. And if there could be a magically diverting hour available out there to make you forget all your troubles, then you darn tootin' shouldn't miss it for the world. Here it is, righ-cheer... go on, serve yourself up a paper plate full and use your hands to eat it. Corn never tasted so good.
If none of that worked to sway you, accept the clear value of the Music Appreciation offered on each episode. Icons of stage and screen, holders of multi-solid precious metal recorded hits, innovators, dreamers, Nobel Prize Winners, well... maybe scratch that last one. But, no joke, many seriously talented peeps shared the stage on Hee Haw and did so gladly. Naw, I bet they were giddy with glee to appear there and have a laugh, forget even their troubles...
Of special note, my first celebrity crush formed while watching that show as a kid... ahhh, Mac Davis, with your curly locks and voice like satin... hmm... takes me back to simpler days, when my tastes were unspoiled by the outside influences that shift and change us... (insert record scratch...) never-mind...
Right, eh'hem, forget about the O.C., baby! Pack up your troubles 'n take them suckers to the H.H. Don't forget to leave that uppity attitude behind and learn to take yourself less seriously while you're at it. Order UP! One Big, HUGE, Super-Duper-Primo Life Lesson all wrapped up in a nice sheet of oil absorbent paper, right there, ya'll...
Live, love, and by all serious means, LAUGH with your children.
These are the most powerful things we can teach them. All the other stuff will help a bit too but without the simple basics how can you expect them to appreciate a single, solitary, good thing?
Episodes include:
Core Topics: Music, Corn, Humility, Grace, Humor and Heart
Role Modelling: ***** out of 5
Theme Song: no way it's a NAY!
whew...
fini
and thank all ya'll out there on the "intronets", again, for the use of the pix since not a one belongs to me.